Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I smell like Dick and happiness
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
