But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
we should paint friendship bongs
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
