I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
