I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
