I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
