Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
