guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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