I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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