JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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