On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i think i have herpe
just one?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
