YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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