So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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