Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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