to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize