I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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