What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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