last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
