if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
