If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
