drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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