***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
