she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
