Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
