would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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