the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
