my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he thought i was a dude.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
