Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
worst night to have a conscience
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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