KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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