I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Randomize
