put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
