Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
