We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
