question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
