dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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