Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize