Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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