I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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