i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize