Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
