saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
