i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
