Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My penis needs a shock collar
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
