none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i out mim tonsoeep
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