will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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