Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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