She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
