flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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