This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize