Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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