I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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