I need help removing her.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
