Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
