I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
