Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
