So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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