she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I touched a dick in church today
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
