She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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