What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
