lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
