Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org

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(757): View more from Virginia

my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers

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(254): View more from Texas

Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.

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(410): View more from Maryland

i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.

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(407): View more from Florida

Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.

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(817): View more from Texas

do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?

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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.

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