I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I didn't notice because vodka
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
