Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
