he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
